Thank you for finally finishing your meal and leaving this lovely dining establishment. For your future reference, I’d like to call your attention to a few pressing matters related to your experience here tonight.
I’m sure that caring for your Mom those last few months was indeed tough – harder than I can imagine – and losing her was a terrible blow. I’m not so sure that the place to air your grievances with your Dad is in the middle of a busy restaurant over a plate of ribs, chicken, and corn muffins. Maybe you’re right – maybe your Dad is holding grudges, and he should go hang out with his kids and grandkids this weekend. But whether you’re right or wrong, guess what? I did not need to know about it.
I also didn’t need to know that your Dad managed to forgive his brother for the unspeakable things he did (and here, I must say, you did one thing right: you left those things unspoken) but can’t seem to forgive his sister. You know what, honey? Most of us struggle with forgiveness at some point in our lives. You really might want to try not to point fingers, because you never know when you’ll be the one working to find a way to forgive – or to find a way to be forgiven.
And, hey, dude? I know that when your wife starts berating her father during dinner it can be uncomfortable. But at the very least, you really should consider at least taking the check at the end of such a meal. Because letting your father-in-law pay for dinner for your whole family – when they just finished yelling at him and all – that’s a little tacky. I’m just saying.
As for the kids, guys, I’m sorry. It’s got to suck to go out for a nice family dinner and then have your mom go postal on Grandpa. I’m sure you’re already in that awkward stage where your parents can embarrass you just by, like, breathing. So this was even worse. I have to say thank you for not making the situation worse, and I don’t blame you for staring at the floor as you clambered out of the booth and headed for the door. To you, I say: have hope. One day soon you’ll leave your parents’ house, go out on your own, and if I were you? At that point, I’d choose never to eat in a restaurant with those people ever again.
Fizz, who loves pulled pork and cole slaw. Just so you know.