The mojo, it has abandoned me.
On Tuesday, instead of our usual playgroup, I took Smooch with me to a new friend’s house. She invited us, along with four or five other young moms from her church, to come over for lunch and the crafty crafting of a Christmas craft. It was a lot of fun, even if I was sort of the “odd girl out” since they all knew each other. Smooch was one of the older kids there, and he was in l-u-v with the cutie-pie six-month-olds. He lay on his tummy beside them while they had their “tummy time” and tried to show them how to vroom-vroom his little truck. He gave hugs and kisses, and he ate his lunch very nicely, and he played quietly while I crafted and chatted away.
That night, he got sick. I’ll spare you the details, but there was much puking of the toddler guts. And there was an indefinitely multiplying mound of laundry to be done. And there was crying and soothing and rocking. He finally slept, and then I lay in the dark waiting for my heart to untwist so that I could sleep.
These almost-two-years have been full of learning experiences. This week I’ve learned about handling toddler sickies. As it turns out, the hardest part is watching my sweet little boy feeling miserable and not.being.able.to.FIX.IT. Never one with a particularly iron stomach, I was surprised that I didn’t feel a single gag the whole night – or even the next morning when I started all of that disgusting laundry. This is a Motherhood Miracle.
There’s a happy end to the story, because the next day Smooch was a little lethargic and not very hungry, but today he is back to his chipper, cheerful self.
So I really can’t blame my utter disinterest in sitting down to write, on that teeny little blip of an illness. Maybe it’s my stress about money – we really, truly, suck at sticking to our budget. The Big Chain Learning Center lady never called me back. I haven’t followed up on my ideas for trying private tutoring. But some good things have come from the tightening of the purse strings: Gruff and I have decided to give each other non-monetary gifts this year. We’re going the old-fashioned “coupon book” route. It should be a lot of fun, and maybe even a little bit touching and romantic, to see what we come up with. To bless each other with a little love and no cash. Maybe it’s related to a distinct drop-off on my Quiet Time at the Library. Gruff has a pretty brutal call schedule for the next week or so (but I really shouldn’t complain, since they are working him like crazy now, to make up for his time off for our anniversary and Christmas) and the routine of non-stop child caring sometimes makes me want to take a three-hour shower with the radio on, just so I don’t have to deal with the little hands and little feet and little butt and little voice that always, always, always asks for MAMA!
If you see my mojo wandering the streets, give it a good spanking and send it back home. I need it.