Ritual Cleansing

Creature of habit. Comfort-zone inhabitant. Methodical. Meticulous. A little bit OCD.

Yes, my friends, I am one of those people. I have an ingrained sense that there is a “right way” to do most everything, and I just can’t bring myself to do it any other way. Take, for instance, the dishwasher. I think most people have a preferred method for loading the dishwasher. Some people are nuts about which way the cutlery points in the little rack. Some people are careful to line up their dishes in height order. I’m hung up on all of that and more.

But I didn’t sit down to write about my dishwasher habits. I’m going to be totally transparent here today, and tell you about my shower habits. (Ha! There will probably be some weirdo Google results because of that little sentence…)

The system basically goes from top to bottom, with a few exceptions. The first thing I do is wash my hair, and then my face. Next, I shave if I need to (and, oh, don’t you just adore the fall and winter months? They are my NaDonHavTaShave seasons, and I love it) and then I soap up my little loofah and actually wash my bod, shoulders to heels.

When I turn the water off, the OCD fun doesn’t stop. I always, always, always, dry off my arms first. Then my armpits and torso; then I prop one foot on the edge of the tub and dry off that leg. That foot then goes to the floor, the other foot meets the tub’s edge, and I dry that leg. Then I dry the …ahem… rest of my midsection. And then, whoopee!, that fun little maneuver where you throw the towel over your back, one corner in each hand, and scrub it back and forth. Doesn’t that just feel heavenly? I always do that bent over at the waist, with my head still hanging over the bathtub, because this hair I have? Lo, it is thick, and drips heavy with the water. The last thing I do is blot my hair dry a little bit and then wrap it up turban-style.

I don’t remember when I settled into this pattern, but now I can’t do it any other way. It feels like I will still be dirty, and have to start all over, if I do my shower in a different order. Now, dear internets, please tell me. I honestly want to know. Am I the only one who is stuck in a rut in that little stall?

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