Murphy’s Laws of Motherhood

First Law:

Any occasion when you need to get out of the house by a set time will elicit one or more of the following in your toddler: diaper emergency or potty-learning emergency, food-related disaster, clothing catastrophe, and/or general screaming fit, thereby ensuring that you will (A)be late and (B) be totally stressed out, hot, and sweaty when you arrive.

Second Law:

Any night that you decide to stay up later than usual to do something just for yourself, your toddler will be sure to wake up, resulting in mild sleep deprivation for you the following day. Your toddler, however, will have even more energy than usual.

Third Law:

Within days of uttering (or even thinking) a phrase like “Thank God my child doesn’t _______” or “My child has never ______”, your child will begin doing whatever action or behavior you named. The level of intensity of the behavior is in direct proportion to the amount of disdain, contempt, or superiority contained in your original statement.

Fourth Law:

Even if your child has just eaten two of the biggest meals of his life, he will act like a starving third-world toddler when in the presence of someone else’s food, and manage to eat great big portions of things that he’d never eat if you were the one offering it.

Advertisements

One Response to Murphy’s Laws of Motherhood

  1. […] came across this post – Murphy’s Laws of <b>Motherhood</b> – and thought it was worth sharing. I hope you find it interesting too and take the time to read […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: