Any occasion when you need to get out of the house by a set time will elicit one or more of the following in your toddler: diaper emergency or potty-learning emergency, food-related disaster, clothing catastrophe, and/or general screaming fit, thereby ensuring that you will (A)be late and (B) be totally stressed out, hot, and sweaty when you arrive.
Any night that you decide to stay up later than usual to do something just for yourself, your toddler will be sure to wake up, resulting in mild sleep deprivation for you the following day. Your toddler, however, will have even more energy than usual.
Within days of uttering (or even thinking) a phrase like “Thank God my child doesn’t _______” or “My child has never ______”, your child will begin doing whatever action or behavior you named. The level of intensity of the behavior is in direct proportion to the amount of disdain, contempt, or superiority contained in your original statement.
Even if your child has just eaten two of the biggest meals of his life, he will act like a starving third-world toddler when in the presence of someone else’s food, and manage to eat great big portions of things that he’d never eat if you were the one offering it.