‘Twas Twenty Nights Before Christmas

I’ve been tagged! I can hardly tell you how excited I am that Mrs. Chicken tagged me for a meme. This makes my week. (YES, I can say that – I found out about The Deuce LAST week, so it’s not like I’m saying a meme is more exciting than my new baby. Chill out, people!) And so I give you my letter to Old Saint Nick:

Dear Santa,

I have been really, really good this year. I have taken my vitamins, and
birthed a baby, and gone back to work even though I didn’t want to, and pumped
my breasts in a closet so that the little guy could have the good stuff, and
cooked and cleaned and managed the laundry, and packed up and moved house, and
visited all of the little guy’s great-grandparents in a nine-day road trip, and
then packed up and moved house after the apartment fire, and didn’t quit
breastfeeding just because the baby has eight teeth, and put up with my
husband’s crazy schedule, and never once did I kick the cats or drink
irresponsibly or run away. It is abundantly clear that I deserve some major haul
this year, so save space in your big red sack.

First of all, I’d really, really, really like a new diamond ring. One that
is big and sparkly and attention-getting.

Then, I want a new wardrobe. Actually, I need a three-phase wardrobe:
fashionable, pulled-together nursing/maternity clothes for the next few months,
and then easy, comfy, ultra-washable nursing clothes for the summer, and then
beautiful, slimming, hip clothes for life beyond pregnancy.

While you’re at it, can I have some accessories? Purses, sunglasses,
jewelry, scarves… whatever the cool mamas are wearing these days. And please
attach a Polaroid to each item with how the heck I’m supposed to pull it off and
what it will look good with.

I know that you have a sweet ride of your own, so surely you can understand
that I neeeeeeeeed a new car. My poor little 1997 sedan is falling apart, and it
scares me to take it too far, especially with the baby in tow. Can I have one of
those big, shiny, luxury Mom-mobiles with enough room for a couple of carseats,
a double stroller, a load of groceries, and a dog? (We don’t have a dog yet. You
can bring us one next year, maybe. If we’re good enough.)

I’d also like a nice little “Miracle on 34th Street” moment where you
magically leave a cane in the corner of whichever house we are supposed to buy.
Because otherwise, I don’t know if I’ll be able to figure it out.

And that brings me to the next thing – how about a miracle mortgage to go
with it? You know, one that never needs an actual payment but never goes into
foreclosure? That would rock my Christmas socks right off.

Mostly, though, and in all seriousness, what I truly want for Christmas is
my family’s health and happiness for another year. A little healing of strained
in-law relationships, a little grace and mercy for those “extra grace required”
friends and relatives, and enough time to show them I love them. If you put a
big red bow on that, I’ll be the happiest girl in town.

Merry Christmas,

And I tag WhyMommy and ANYONE else who wants to share!


6 Responses to ‘Twas Twenty Nights Before Christmas

  1. Mrs. Chicken says:

    Love your list, thanks for playing! And yes, health and happiness and healing.

    I second that.

    As The Poo says, happy Chris-ti-mis!

  2. whymommy says:

    Great list! And thanks for the tag — I’ll work on it tomorrow!

  3. Ju-No says:

    Pardon my blogging ignorance, but what does being tagged for a meme mean?

    Also, please don’t name the baby The Deuce! Dropping a deuce is a euphemism for taking a crap.

    Continue the pet food naming! This time go for a cat food.

    Or maybe name him/her Zaphod! Great name, as long as my relative doesn’t grow 2 heads.

  4. The NewDotFamily says:

    Ju-No, Okay, first of all, a “meme” is sort of a blogging game. It’s when someone starts a writing prompt, or a list, or whatnot… then they “tag” others to participate on their own blogs.

    If you remember, on another forum I once did the “Soundtrack of my Life” meme and you did it after you saw mine. THAT is a meme. :0)

    Dude, you are totally tagged!

  5. whymommy says:

    Well, I’m glad that Ju-No has been tagged, cause I’m afraid I just can’t get over a writing hump on this one. Sorry, NewDotMom. I’ve actually never written a letter to Santa, and I don’t intend to teach my kids to do so either. There’s a lot of philosophy behind the decision, and I tried to put it aside and play, but I just couldn’t do it. Sorry, and I hope we’ll still be blogfriends!

  6. whymommy says:

    Okay, I got inspired and posted a response tonight. Thanks for the fun and sorry if I was a downer before!

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