Apparently, a lot of fussing and concern and general chaos. Okay, none of that is in the name itself exactly, but choosing a baby’s name is rife with trouble.
When we found out we were pregnant, I wanted to be a real purist about the whole thing. The Husband and I are a little like that old Donny-and-Marie song… but instead of musical differences (we have those too) we have some philosophy differences. Sing it with me:
I’m a little bit crunchy, he’s a little bit establish-ment!!!
So I thought it would be wonderful to be surprised with the baby’s sex on the day we met him or her for the first time… wonderful to choose one boy’s name and one girl’s name and surprise the whole family with “It’s a ____ and his/her name is _____” on The Day. The Husband, however, thinks that anything the medical community has to offer should be used as often as possible. (In the OB/GYN realm, this includes episiotomies, epidurals, spinal blocks, IVs, C-sections, etc…. which is another discussion for another day!) He wanted to find out the baby’s sex at the first possible ultrasound.
We went back and forth on the issue for a few weeks and finally came up with a compromise that works for us. We would ask to know the sex, if baby cooperated and showed off, and we would pick a name for both genders beforehand. Once we knew the sex, we would use baby’s name only between us…. it would be the Big Surprise on baby’s birth day.
I was happy because something will be a surprise for our families, and he was happy because he’d know if we were having a son or a daughter. And the more I reflected on it, the happier I felt with the decision. The Husband is not an old-school, good ol’ boy, I-need-a-son-to-carry-on-my-name kind of guy. He’s a modern man who appreciates and respects women. But he was so certain this baby was a boy, I was a little worried that if we didn’t see a tiny penis on that ultrasound screen, he would need some TIME to adjust and I didn’t want that time to be when we were dealing with a screaming newborn.
So, we each made a list and then had quite a few laughs and incredulous looks and several revisits to the Name Decision… but we finally settled. If the baby was a girl, we would name her Abigail Elizabeth, and if the baby was a boy, we would name him Jonas Patrick.
At my 16 week ultrasound (a Level II jobbie at the perinatologist–very detailed, very cool) we counted chambers of the heart, bones in the arms and hands, bones in the leg and foot… and hey, what’s that? HELLO, WIENER! So it’s a boy, and he’ll be Jonas Patrick, and I can’t wait to meet him.
Everyone we know is now suddenly obsessed with knowing this kid’s name months before they even meet him. Why on earth are people so concerned with this? At least they know it’s a boy, if they want to go buy the stereotypically blue clothing or blankies with trucks and balls or little baby plastic machine guns (more on the subject of Plastic Crap for Babies later) they can do that. I’ve got friends trying to “trick” me into slipping up, my mom keeps saying it doesn’t really bother her (ha!), and my ladies’ group at church thinks this is Rumplestiltskin and if they can guess the right name, I’ll stomp and turn and go up in a puff of smoke.
I’ve been thinking of how to solve this problem. At first I started announcing that we were naming him George Washington, but no one really bought it. Then I started hedging, saying we still hadn’t really decided, but everyone who knows what an OCD, organized planner freak I am doesn’t believe that for a minute. At this point, I’m just praying I won’t need any medications before he’s born or else it probably will slip out!!!
For future reference, whenever we decide to have Kid #2, we’re going to tell everyone the following little fib: